What have you heard about apes? Is it how the flatness of our ribs make our rib cages broader? Our low center of gravity or broad chests? Or how our shoulders are the most mobile in the mammal kingdom? While all of these may be true, have you ever wondered why apes have hair instead of fur? Nails instead of claws? Presence of a thumb? Absence of a tail? A well-functioning brain? Does it ring a bell? I bet. All of these features were what the humans saw before they came visiting.

We were just another bunch of apes, in our tribes and shrewdnesses. Social as ever, welcoming to all. Would I say we were living the dream life on our lost island, eating and drinking all we wanted? Well, that was until one of us, the chimpanzee sighted an incoming boat– the arrival that changed our lives– which we would later discover to be instagram models, photographers, celebrities, humans. The gibbon in her usual way quickly received them all.

They brought colorful rocks, wrapped in weirdly strange leaves which tasted like fruit. Only they were not fruit. For whatever those rocks could have been, I still cannot comprehend such power they had in them.

The tiny, colorful rocks we ate accelerated our evolution by a few million years. Suddenly, the bizarre, random sounds these humans danced to, began to make sense to us and we were caught in a trance.

We, who were just apes (yes, we know) before the pleasure-seekers arrived had now attained a new level of sentience. We began to think, feel, and smell like them. In another snap of a finger, we were quickly provided gear such as jackets, headphones, beanie hats, disk drives, microphones, etc.

That once lost island is now called ApeVille. We still get to eat as many bananas. Food is abundant and so is friendship and companionship. The humans visit often, bringing with them more rocks, cameras, headphones, music and even more recently, podcasts.

They didn’t take away our values, they just found a way to help us appreciate it better. Now we’re like humans. We listen to music, chill with celebrities, pose for the magazine covers, and just enjoy the vibes. We are Vibin’ Apes!